A couple of weeks ago I sent a link to my blog to a friend of mine who is an accomplished writer. He is a former magazine editor and an acclaimed author of two books. I asked him for his feedback and although he gave me a positive critique, this is the part that stuck in my head. He said that it was obvious that I writing for myself, and that was fine, but writing for an audience was a different thing. Which got me to thinking. Who am I writing for, and why?
When I was singing regularly, I did it for others. Of course I did it for myself too, but deep down inside I felt that I had been so lucky to have been blessed with such a gift and the opportunities to develop it, and that I was obligated to share it with the world. I really didn't allow myself to enjoy it fully for it's own sake - only for what it gave to others. That made me dependent on their praise for my own fulfillment. Perhaps these are some of the reasons that my singing career never really took off.
I started writing this blog as a place to explore my thoughts and get down some of the things I was dealing with. It wasn't intended as a forum for teaching others how to live. I'm finding some of my own answers but I haven't got them for others. If you enjoy my writing, I'm happy. If you connect to what I'm saying, I'm thrilled. If you are learning something from it, I am humbled. But who am I writing it for? Well, as much as it pains me to say it, my friend is right. I'm writing for myself.
That's an incredibly hard thing for me to admit. It feels so incredibly selfish and self-centred it makes me cringe. It makes me immediately want to say "no, no! I'm writing it all for you! Please don't think I'm selfish!" But if I am only trying to guess what people would like to read, does that do anyone any good? Is that authentic? Is it real?
I think it's like the oxygen masks on an airplane. You have to put your own on first before helping others. If I can claim my voice for myself and write from my experience and my heart without obsessing about what others will think of it, it will be authentic and true and it will be mine to share.
I think it's like the oxygen masks on an airplane. You have to put your own on first before helping others. If I can claim my voice for myself and write from my experience and my heart without obsessing about what others will think of it, it will be authentic and true and it will be mine to share.
Elizabeth Gilbert was only able to write "Eat, Pray, Love" because she imagined she was writing it for a few best friends...and she threw out her entire first draft of "Commitment" because she was so self-conscious about her (massive) audience that it stilted her creativity and prose. When a friend suggested she just pretend the book was for her, to be read only by a few of her closest friends, she was finally able to finish it...but she had to start all over again.
ReplyDeleteTo me, "writing for herself" is exactly why she is so successful. She keeps it personal, which means it's universal...we all think we're alone and unique with our problems but we're not. When we realize this, we can make a connection.
It's YOUR voice. And it's beautiful.