There is a saying that love conquers all. Many people who are intelligent and educated believe this is a fallacious statement. I think it's true. I think that love has the power to transform hurt, and I do think it can conquer just about anything.
I have a friend who has recently got into a very intense relationship. His first relationship. He has waited a long time to find someone to love and been through many internal struggles to feel worthy of being loved. Unfortunately his partner is in the midst of some terrible family chaos. To save my friend from being hurt, a pre-emptive strike was waged and the relationship was essentially ended. My friend was naturally hurt, and worried about the person he loves. But somewhere in my gut was a little voice saying "don't give up yet, they may surprise you..."
Tonight my friend called me to say that the partner's mother called to tell him that her child was so happy in the relationship and to please work it out. They did and I'm thrilled for them both. But my friend said to me "this is the get out jail free card. The next time this happens, I'm out." And he may well decide that. But I doubt it. Because he is in love. And love allows us to bear many things.
In my own twenty year relationship we have inevitably been through many ups and downs, and often have covered some of the same territory over and over again. When you find yourself back on that familiar terrain you can wonder "why the hell am I still dealing with this stuff?" But the answer is simple. Because I love him. And because he loves me. That's why we put up with each other!
Now I don`t advocate staying in an abusive relationship. Far from it. But I do think that many people give up too easily. The first sign of a bump in the road and they run the other way. Love ain't easy. In the immortal words of Pat Benatar "Love is a Battlefield". Well, sometimes it is. Fortunately for me I'm up for the fight.
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