Joy and suffering

When I was struggling to "make it" as a classical singer, I thought that being an artist was hard.  That it was a ticket to being miserable and that somehow that was how it was supposed to be most of the time.  I had my highs when I performed, but when I wasn't performing I wondered if I was good enough, if I'd ever be successful, and when I'd perform again.  I was wracked with doubt.

But I remember one wise teacher who discussed with us this strange compulsion for suffering.  I think she used this quote by Louise Bogan:

"I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering; surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy!"

I've read a lot of books about artistic process and have found established, successful artists that believe that making art requires suffering.  I bought into this paradigm and these books helped me to justify my misery and to hold it close to me.

I don't believe it anymore.  I don't believe that my ability to make art is related to how much I'm willing to suffer.  At least it isn't for me.

Now I may be completely talking out of my ass, because how do I know that my joy is producing anything valuable at all?  I guess only time will tell whether or not "following my bliss" (to paraphrase Joseph Campbell) will lead me to success.

But I do know this.  Following my bliss is making the journey a helluva lot more fun.  And isn't life all about the journey?